Memoirs of a Redeemed Mother

FL December 2014

February 04, 2015

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Winter

March 12, 2015

Winter: cold, dark, long, dreary, depressing, dead. That pretty much sums up my feelings of winter being a Florida girl. I hate winter. Everything is dead; the grass, the trees (at least the leaves on the trees), the flowers and this winter was no different. It started out just like stated above and then turned into a blizzard. Things were happening and I didn't understand why. My life had entered what seemed to be an eternal winter state. But I had forgotten that winter was only a season and that this wasn't going to last forever. There was no spring in sight for me. Thankfully God swept in the way he does and gently reminded me that this is all part of his plan. He spoke the world into existence, he designed the seasons, and He did it all for His glory. God wanted to teach me something else this winter. He wanted to show me that it's all about Him. You see, we did have a long cold winter here in NC and right when we thought it was almost over, we were hit ...

Turning My Grief into Gratitude

February 10, 2011

To give you the quick recap on my life in the past five years: I moved to North Carolina for college, met and married Michael, and wanted to start a family. After this, things went quickly from really good, to really bad. I was able to get pregnant right away. I lost the baby . I was able to get pregnant again the very next month. Again I lost the baby . Even though a year has gone by, typing the words, I lost the baby, makes me want to vomit. Admitting that I now have two children that have died seems unreal. At the time, I felt like I had to regain composure quickly. I was teaching sixth grade and my life seemed like it was moving on a rollercoaster. But now that I am a stay at home mom, I feel like I think about them more often. What would they have looked like? Were they a boy or a girl? Would I have had twins? And I am left with no answers. It seems like after over a year of grieving, God has finally brought light to this area in my life. Yes, I lost two pregnancies and that...

Being Completely Satisfied

February 16, 2011

As I reflect on the past and even examine my life now, I often find that I become consumed with whatever is going on in my life at that time. I will focus all of my thoughts and attention to this matter until it is resolved. To give you a few examples, at one point in my life, all I wanted was to be out of my parents house, then it was that I just waned to graduate high school, next I wanted to graduate college, after that I could not wait to get engaged, that turned into I couldn't wait to get married, then if I could just have children everything would be fine. I thought all of these were life and death matters at that time. If I could only get that 'one' thing in my life, I would be happy and satisfied. But when I lie awake at night for hours, not able to sleep because I am thinking about what I want my future house to be like, something is wrong . The fact is that when I get that 'one' thing, something else will soon repl...